The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
