I don't remember. Are we still dating?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
They are going to name an STD after you.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I am available for nakedness
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
