at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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