k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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