I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm sobbing to NWA
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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