I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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