a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
