Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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