I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Randomize
