She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
