First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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