idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
