this beer tastes like vomit already
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Pants are for mortals
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
