I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
