Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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