I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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