Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
