I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
