No, you can still breathe under the balls.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize