I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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