If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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