Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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