And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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