Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
