he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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