wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
