Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
she pinky promised me she was 18
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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