a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize