I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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