I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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