whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
