you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
