Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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