yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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