The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
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