Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize