Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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