Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
