OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
