you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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