Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
