Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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