so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
