If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
No I am not eating basil off your cock
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
