Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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