My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize