He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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