So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
