ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
