I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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