addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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