I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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