HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
