jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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