Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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