I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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