in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
