I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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