upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
