her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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