screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
