There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
