No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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