Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
