Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
