Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
