I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
